19 Words That Will Make People Like You More

Want to make a better first impression and engender positive feelings that last a long time? Focus on what you say as much as what you do.

First impressions can lead to lasting impressions. So to improve, a lot of people will tell you to dress better, read more (so you’ll have interesting things to talk about), and ensure that your online presence is respectable (because many people will check you out online before meeting in person).

Words No. 1 and 2: “Sir” and “ma’am” 

But, how far will that get you? Despite what many people would like to believe, the things you say often make an even greater early impression than the things you do. To take advantage of that and get you started easily, here are 19 words–grouped into a handful of easy phrases–that you should make a habit of saying every day. They’re virtually guaranteed to improve your standing with others if you use them often enough.

American culture is pretty informal compared to many other places in the world, but a little bit of formality can really make you stand out in a positive way. I carry this inclination from the military, and also from having been a lawyer in the federal court system. These are environments in which people use the titles “Sir” and “Ma’am” constantly–not just in talking with high ranking military officers, but also addressing civilians.

I know that this doesn’t work in every situation, but using these titles can be a sign of respect that gets people’s attention. It can be important in professional relationships, especially when dealing with people you don’t know well, and who are older or more experienced than you.

Words No. 3 and 4: “You’re welcome.”

Sometime in fairly recent history it seems people stopped saying, “You’re welcome,” and started substituting, “Yep,” or, “No problem.” At the risk of sounding older than I am, I think this is a step in the wrong direction–at least in a business or professional setting.

Why? Because ditching “you’re welcome” for these other phrases changes the message. “You’re welcome” acknowledges that you’ve done something worth someone else’s thanks, while “no problem” suggests that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Saying the former phrase conveys that you think it was a worthwhile favor. That’s an impressive message to send.

Words No. 5 to 7: “Here’s what’s happening.”

If you’ve ever worked in an environment in which people guarded information like a valuable commodity, you’ll appreciate how much affinity you develop for the few people who try to keep everyone else accurately informed.

Of course you don’t want to be a know-it-all or spread rumors. However, even if you don’t know the full story, being willing to share the information you have that affects others’ lives can make you instantly more likable.

Words No. 8 to 11: “How can I help?”

Nobody accomplishes anything amazing alone. Thus, with the exception of the sociopaths among us, we’re all eventually grateful to those who help us achieve great things. I think we’re especially grateful to those who proactively try to help.

This doesn’t mean you have to go way out of your way to offer assistance, but it’s often the case that you have access to something or the ability to do something that won’t take much on your part, but that can really have a positive impact on someone else’s success.

Words #12 to 15: “I’ll find out.”

This is one of my favorite phrases. It’s related to “how can I help,” but is even more proactive. It says that you’re not only willing to offer assistance, but that you’re willing to go out of your way to do so.

(By the way, this helpful phrase is also the diametric opposite of the most bureaucratic phrase known to humankind, uttered incessantly by some of the least likable people: “That’s not my job.”)

Words No. 16 to 19: “I believe in you.”

Henry Ford recalled that when he was still an unknown, and was working on gasoline engines, a few short words of encouragement from an already famous Thomas Edison were a massive shot in the arm.

It’s amazing how just a little bit of validation from other people can inspire people to work harder and achieve more. Four short words can have a huge, positive impact–both for the people you’re encouraging, and for their feelings toward you.

10 Ways You Should Never Describe Yourself

When other people use these words to describe your talents, it's OK. When you do it, you just sound like a pompous jerk.

Picture this: You meet someone new. "What do you do?" he asks.

"I'm an architect," you say.

"Oh, really?" he answers. "Have you designed any buildings I've seen?"

"Maybe," you reply. "We did the new library at the university..."

"Oh wow," he says. "I've seen it. That's a beautiful building..."

And you're off. Maybe he's a potential client, maybe not... but either way you've made a great impression.

You sound awesome.

Now picture this: You meet someone new. "What do you do?" he asks.

"I'm a passionate, innovative, dynamic provider of architectural services who uses a collaborative approach to create and deliver outstanding customer experiences."

And he's off, never to be seen again... because you sound like a pompous ass.

Do you--whether on your website, or more likely on social media accounts--describe yourself differently than you do in person?

Do you use hacky clichés and overblown superlatives and breathless adjectives?

Do you write things about yourself you would never have the nerve to actually say?

If so, it's time for a change.

Here are some words that are great when used by other people to describe you, but you should never use to describe yourself:

"Motivated."

Check out Chris Rock's response (not safe for work or the politically correct) to people who say they take care of their kids. Then substitute the word "motivated." Never take credit for things you are supposed to do--or be.

"Authority."

If you have to say you're an authority, you aren't. Show your expertise instead. "Presenter at SXSW" or "Delivered TED Talk at Long Beach 2010" indicates a level of authority. Unless you can prove it, "social media marketing authority" just means you spend a ton of time on Twitter.

"Global provider."

The vast majority of businesses can sell goods or services worldwide; the ones that can't--like restaurants--are obvious. (See?) Only use "global provider" if that capability is not assumed or obvious; otherwise you just sound like a really small company trying to appear really big.

"Innovative."

Most companies claim to be innovative. Most people claim to be innovative. Most are not. (I'm not.) That's okay, because innovation isn't a requirement for success.

If you are innovative, don't say it. Prove it. Describe the products you've developed. Describe the processes you've modified. Give us something real so your innovation is unspoken but evident... which is always the best kind of evident to be.

"Creative."

See particular words often enough and they no longer make an impact. "Creative" is one of them. (Go to LinkedIn and check out some profiles; "creative" will appear in the majority.)

"Creative" is just one example. Others include extensive, effective, proven, dynamic, influential, team player, collaborative... some of those terms truly may describe you, but since they're also being used to describe everyone else they've lost their impact.

"Curator."

Museums have curators. Libraries have curators. Tweeting links to stuff you find interesting doesn't make you a curator... or an authority or a guru.

"Passionate."

Say you're incredibly passionate about incorporating an elegant design aesthetic in everyday objects and--to me at least--you sound a little scary. Same if you're passionate about developing long-term customer solutions. Try focus, concentration, or specialization instead. Save the passion for your loved one.

"Unique."

Fingerprints are unique. Snowflakes are unique. You are unique--but your business probably isn't. Don't pretend to be, because customers don't care about unique; they care about "better." Show how you're better than the competition and in the minds of customers you will be unique.

 "Guru."

People who try to be clever for the sake of being clever are anything but. Don't be a self-proclaimed ninja, sage, connoisseur, guerilla, wonk, egghead... it's awesome when your customers affectionately describe you in that way, but when you do it it's apparent you're trying way too hard.

"Incredibly..."

Check out some random bios and you'll find plenty of further-modified descriptors: "Incredibly passionate," "profoundly insightful," "extremely captivating..." isn't it enough to be insightful or captivating? Do you have to be incredibly passionate?

If you must use over-the-top adjectives to describe yourself, at least spare us the further modification. Trust us; we already get it.

14 Inspiration Quotes That Will Change Your Life in 2014

This post is in partnership with Inc., which offers useful advice, resources, and insights to entrepreneurs and business owners. The article below was originally published at Inc.com.

I used to hate inspirational quotes, maybe because my wrestling coach used to say, “If you’re not puking or passing out… you’re not trying hard enough.” (Go ahead: bask in the warm glow of that little gem.)

Now I think inspirational quotes can indeed be inspirational–but only if we actually apply and live those words.

So instead of just grabbing famous quotes we’ve all heard before, I’ve picked things people told me that caused me to act differently. I probably won’t remember what, say, Ben Franklin once said, no matter how poignant or witty, but I definitely remember what certain people said to me at critical moments in my life:

1. “Only a genius can do things his own way. You? You’re no genius.” I worked a construction job one summer and kept questioning what I was told to do. The foreman finally, in no uncertain terms, set me straight. It’s okay to reinvent the wheel, but only after you know how the current wheel works. Never assume you know better when you don’t really know anything.

2. “If you want to know how much you’ll be missed when you are gone, put your finger in a bucket of water and then remove it. The hole that’s left will be how much you are missed.” No one is irreplaceable. No one. Not even this guy. Instead of depressing, the thought we’re professionally replaceable is liberating. You may not leave a hole, but you can leave a mark on a person, a team, or a culture that lives on after you’re gone.

You may not be missed but you can be remembered–in the best possible way.

3. “We all have limits. Almost no one reaches theirs. You definitely haven’t.” You could swim faster if a shark was on your tail. You could run faster if your child was in danger. You could work harder if the payoff was truly exceptional.

What we think we can do is always–always–less than what we can do if we really, reallytry. We always have a little more in us. Find your true limits and you may find that success is limitless.

4. “Unless you’re the lead dog in the sled, the view never changes.” Following the crowd means living the same life as the crowd. You don’t want that.

5. “There are two types of pain you will go through in life: the pain of discipline and the pain of regret. Discipline weighs ounces while regret weights tons.” (Original to Jim Rohn.) The worst words you can say are, “I just wish I had…” Push yourself to do what you hope to do… so you will never have to regret not having tried.

6. “Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” (Gotta love Dean Wormer.) I haven’t overcome the stupid part… but I’m trying.

7. “The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave but one.” (Original to Ernest Hemingway.) Think about easing into a cold ocean; every inch is excruciating. Dive in and it sucks big time, but then it’s over. It’s even worse to turn away from what scares you because when you do, deep inside, a little piece of you withers and dies.

Dive in. It’s never as cold, or as bad, as you think.

8. “Today’s pain is tomorrow’s power. The more you suffer today, the stronger you are tomorrow.” Self-pity is self-defeating. Tomorrow’s success is based on today’s discomfort. Plus willpower is like a muscle: the more you exercise it, the stronger your will gets.

And the easier it is to call on when dedication and persistence make all the difference.

9. “Bravery means finding something more important than fear.” Courage without meaning is just recklessness. Brave people aren’t fearless; they’ve simply found something that matters more to them than the fear they’re facing. Say you’re scared to start a business. Find a reason that has greater meaning than the fear: Your family’s future, your desire to make a difference, or your dream of a more fulfilling life.

When you find a greater meaning you find the courage to overcome your fear.

10. “Do it or not. There is no try.” (Original Yoda, philosopher and avant-garde sentence constructor.) A boss once gave me what I thought was an impossible task. I said, “Okay… I’ll try.” He explained that I would finish as long as I didn’t quit. Trying didn’t enter into it. Persistence was all that mattered.

Often we say, “I’ll try…” because it gives us an out. Once we say, “I will,” our perspective changes. What previously seemed insurmountable is no longer a matter of luck or chance but of time and effort and persistence.

When what you want to do really matters, never say, “I’ll try.” Say, “I will,” and keep that promise to yourself.

11. “Stop waiting for the ‘right time.’ Success is a numbers game: the number of times you take a shot.” You’ll never create the perfect business plan, never find the perfect partners, the perfect market, the perfect location, but you can find the perfect time to start.

That time is now.

Talent, experience, and connections are important, but put your all into enough new things and some will work. Take enough shots and over time you’ll grow more skilled, more experienced, and more connected. And that will mean a greater percentage of your efforts will succeed. Take enough shots, learn from what didn’t work, and in time you’ll have all the skills, experience, and connections you need.

Ultimately success is all about taking your shot, over and over again. Sometimes you may win, sometimes you will definitely lose, but the more things you try the more chances you have of succeeding. Put the power of numbers on your side. Take as many shots as you can. There’s no guarantee of success, but when you don’t take a shot, there’s a definite guarantee of failure.

12. “Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other guy to die.” The same holds for bitterness. And jealousy. And dislike. Let it go. If you don’t, the only loser is you.

13. “The extra mile is a vast, unpopulated wasteland.” (Me.) Everyone says they go the extra mile, but almost no one actually does. Most people think, “Wait… no one else is here… why am I doing this?”

That’s why the extra mile is such a lonely place. That’s also why the extra mile is a place filled with opportunities. Be early. Stay late. Make the extra phone call. Send the extra email. Do the extra research. Help a customer unload or unpack a shipment. Don’t wait to be asked; offer. Every time you do something, think of one extra thing you can do–especially if other people aren’t doing that one thing. Sure, it’s hard.

But that’s what will make you different–and over time will make you incredibly successful.

14. “It’s just a flesh wound.”The Black Knight never gives up.

Neither should we.

Now it’s your turn: What has another person said to you that made a lasting impact? Add your favorite quotes in the comments below!

Read more: 14 Inspiration Quotes That Will Change Your Life in 2014 | TIME.com